Masochists

mas·och·ism /ˈmæsəˌkɪzəm, ˈmæz-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[mas-uh-kiz-uhm, maz-] –noun

1.	Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.

2.	gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

3.	the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.

4.	the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

I believe that many of us are. No, no, not that kind. Not a psychology lecture on self-destructive tendency of humans either. It is just a mockery for my dear friends who like chilli and horror movies.
I believe what capsaicin molecules, substantially chilli, does is to bind to pain and 'hot' nerve receptors. And that horror flicks also causes some mental damage. The problem is that some certain people like to inflict these damages upon themselves.
Of course there are other self-inflicting activities like exercising. No, no, I'm not excusing my laziness to exercise. I agree that exercising is healthy. It is destructive because it accelerates oxidation rate. That means that more radicals are produced and the body ages faster. Well this is true, but the health resulted outweighs this price. Another one would be dangerous ventures like extreme sports. Again, the sense of adventure gained surpasses the dangers.
On the other hand, I don't see any outweighing results from chilli and horror flicks. Chilli first. Healthy? Nope. Sense of adventure? Where got? Makes your food more tasty? I'm sure... Horrors then. Thrill? Sure, but you got high blood pressure so you got more chance to get cardio-related diseases. That means higher chance dying from heart attack you know.
I won't venture too much and refer to my philosophy lecture about duality. If there is no 'bad', will there be good? If there is no hate there will be no love. If there are not two extremes but one, it won't be an extreme at all. Oops, I said it.
So you say there will be no pleasure without pain? Whatever. If there are no chilli-hating people, there won't be chilli loving people. Ha! Beat that!

On Anthropocentrism

Man is the measure of all things.
-- Protagoras

I came across the term 'anthropocentrism' a while back when I was reading a Physics book titled 'Constant of the Universe' or something of the like. Very interesting book. No sarcasm.
Its etymology explains what it is. Anthropo would be humans, centrism would be, well, centre. So humans at the centre.
I think this term really describe us well. It applies universally a bit like how Aristotle's golden mean can be applied to almost everything. Well all our actions can be described as anthropocentric I guess.
Take the area of science. There was a period where people believed in Ptolemian geocentrism - humans are thought to be at the centre of the universe. Literally anthropocentric. Units also reflect anthropocentric bias. We conveniently use pound, feet, meters and all common units because they suit OUR needs. Well, imagine using Angstrom to measure the length of your arm (or try Planck's units - even more absurd).
Recently, I attended a lecture about Morality and Ethics in my philosophy class. It was always at the back of my mind but the lecture put this concept about 'everything eventually goes to our end' into words. Surely we would not want to commit crimes since we do not want to go to jail. But this is true for the opposite as well. We make friends because it puts us to greater advantage to have many friends. We invest for connection in business world later on in the future. They will give us presents during our birthdays. They can help us when we are in a pinch. Basically they are USEFUL. That sounds awful, really - but if you think of everyone doing it and everyone is using everyone else and creating a win-win situation, it does not sound as bad. But it still does - because the seemingly purest intentions can be called selfish. The lecturer gave the example of Mother Teresa and her noble social work. Applying the above concept, Mother Teresa is seen to making herself feel good by doing the social work. Of course I disagree at this point since her work, while perhaps made her feel good, it also made many many more people feel good. So let me repeat: even the purest intentions can be called selfish.
On the same note, blogging can be viewed as anthropocentric, too. There are various motives of writing a blog. Some 'exhibit' their lives, some just threw thoughts, intending to pour their hearts out. But the question is: 'Why write in the Internet?' Since the Internet is an open network, people are bound to see your blog. It is like laying your diaries in the open: do you deny that you are hoping for people to see it by laying it in the open? Of course I'm guilty of this as well. I remain anonymous and do not reveal too much in my blog so that people would not know me, but somewhere inside I am hoping that people I know stumble upon my blog, recognise that it is me, then come up to me to say something like:'I was reading your blog yesterday. I don't know you can think of such good ideas and you write well, too!' Vanity is part of anthropocentrism, I think, since it makes us feel good in a way. So on the same note, people dressing up and acting cool are anthropocentric since it is kind of vanity. Not that I mind seeing cool people. I may envy them but certainly there is nothing wrong with looking good and cool.
So is anthropocentrism good or bad? In a way it is bad since we are all acting according to our self interests; and self interests often conflict. But I tend to think that it is neutral. It is part of being human. There is nothing wrong with making things convenient for ourselves, as long as we are not assuming, as in the case of geocentrism; and as long as, as Aristotle would say, it is 'in moderation' meaning that we don't exploit our anthropocentrism. Certainly our friends are useful but appreciate that it works the opposite way as well: we are useful to our friends. Use but be used as well. As long as we are humans, we cannot help but be anthropocentric. But appreciate that you are not the only human in the world; there are others and since they are humans, they are anthropocentric too. We have to compromise, or to sound more Aristotelian: take the 'moderation'.
We humans are ugly, aren't we? But that's what we are.

Chrysalis [ 02. Alphonse ]

[See entire]

I went to the service five minutes early. The church is packed with mostly students from our college, but there are many who came from nearby community, too. A young man in front of me looked rather bewildered. I guess it is his first time too in this church. I took a seat beside him. His face was kind and pleasant. When he smiled at me, I couldn't help but begin a conversation.
"Hi. Are you in junior year, too?"
"No, I'm a sophomore."
"I'm Jake." I offered my hand.
"I'm Alphonse." He shook my hand.
"Just moved in?"
"Yes."
"Me also."
Silence.
After a while the service began. The songs were unfamiliar to me and the sermon was a little bit bleak. Or perhaps it was my mood.
After the service ends, I talked a bit more to Alphonse. For some reason it was comfortable talking to him although he and I didn't talk much. We talked about which part of the hostel we live, what courses we are taking and about the college in general before going our ways.

I went up to my room. I unpack my things and began arranging my room.

Night quietly fell. My labour was largely finished. I went to a 7-eleven nearby for a quick dinner.

Quiet. The streets were bustling but it is quiet. The chatters of people filled the air, but still, my heart was quiet. I returned to the hostel. Not many people there since the term hasn't begun.

I couldn't find my towel in the morning so I tried looking for it again but to no avail. I took out a spare towel and went to public bath. Nobody was there.

I took my time bathing and since there was no one, I hummed some songs that were sung in the morning service.

The following Sunday I was a little bit late. I spotted Alphonse and quickly occupied the empty seat beside him. He was mildly surprised but soon smiled with a silent "Hi again".

"Hullo," I replied.
I could recognise some songs in the service and the sermon was not bad. Alphonse and I had lunch together afterwards. Then we went our ways. I tried playing the songs in the service. There is a grand piano in the common room and it is open for public. Since the common room is usually quiet on Sunday afternoon, the piano was all mine. I'm not that great a pianist. I've never had a real piano lesson, so I can only play simple songs. But I often feel satisfied after playing, as if I have poured my heart out.
The next Sundays I looked forward to meet Alphonse in the service. We would have lunch together and had a light conversation then I would go to common room if I am in the mood.
On one Sunday afternoon, Alphonse asked, "What do you do after lunch?"
I said I usually went to common room to play piano.
"Oh, that's why sometimes I hear someone playing piano. So that's you. I never bothered to check."
When I went to the common room later in the day, Alphonse walked in when I was playing and sat at a chair nearby.
"Continue playing," he said, when I stopped.
So I continue. At the end of the song Alphonse said, "Can you teach me? I play, too but I'm not that great a pianist. I've never had a real piano lesson, so I can only play simple songs."
Exactly, I thought.
"Well, I don't play well, either."
The next Sundays, my routine includes playing piano with Alphonse listening faithfully, sometimes playing tunes that he knew.

Eros-Agape

And so another riddle for you
It's still about that rope;
It can branch
to two, or three, or more
o silky string
o steely chain
If it is so painful to break
If it is unmendable once brok'n
Why.
It is not a question
of the wisdom lovers
but a foolish lover babbling
Your answer, sir
to the riddle of humanity?