Quoteworthy


...quaecumque sunt vera, quaecumque pudica, quaecumque justa, quaecumque sancta, quaecumque amabilia, quaecumque bonae famae, si qua virtus, si qua laus disciplinae, haec cogitate.
-- Phil. 4:8

Chrysalis [ 09. Amnion ]



It was all darkness.
But it wasn't unsettling. Sometimes, blinding brightness can keep us in the dark -- like when the stars can't be seen for the sun -- similarly, darkness sometimes illuminates.

In the far off, I thought I heard  gentle sounds of water burbling, like when you are underwater. Maybe I was. But I knew I wasn't, because somehow, I wasn't suffocating. Also, there was no water around, or, I couldn't feel it. It was like waving about in empty space. Yet somehow the darkness itself had resistance, giving that wrap-around, warm feeling. Velvety darkness.
I tried to move about, but there was no up or down, no left or right. I was a suspended point in space.
I remembered one time I had sneaked in late at night to a nearby pool. I didn't swim; I just waded through the water to the middle and flailed about so that I floated on my back. I stared at the sky, at the black cloud curtains behind which the moon and the stars had shied away. 
It felt great to be suspended by the water below. When I try to look at the sky while standing up, I feel so overwhelmed  and along comes the spell of dizziness that makes me feel like toppling over. If I lie on my back and look up, I would feel vulnerable, as if the vastness of the sky itself will come crushing down and hammer me to the ground at any moment. Floating on water, I was able to take in the greatness of sky: sans the dizziness, sans the vulnerableness. To contain that infinite stretch into the finite frame of my mind.
It is reassuring to feel water resistance. In the dark, there were none of those fascinating dynamic brilliance of the silvery liquid the water has turned into during a sunny day. There were no ripples of light moving lazily along the bottom of the pool, like a huge net made up of strands of light has been cast, like a graceful, giant, transparent jellyfish. Yet you can feel it: the smooth friction as it slides along your skin and slips away between your fingers, the chill as it evaporates and leaves your body carrying your body heat away, the heaviness when you shove it around, the buoyancy on your back, the urge to dance.
That was the feeling of this liquid darkness surrounding me. 
If this were a dream, maybe I should wake up; if this were illusion, maybe I should seek the reality; if this were death, maybe I should be reborn. It's just,
What if I got those all wrong? That this is actually awake; that this is reality; that this is life?
I felt like Zhuangzi's butterfly, flapping about between two realms, not even sure whether I should be flapping, or even whether I was a butterfly to begin with. 

Points of View

Note: I recommend reading the previous post first. It's alright if you don't follow the story, you can ignore the plot and glean the literary ideas discussed instead.
How often you see the second-person point of view in a narrative? Very seldom. Almost every narrative puts you in the seat of either a first-person or a third-person observer. This is understandable -- if you have read some of second-person narrated works, you get this peculiar feeling, which is very different from those evoked by the other two points of view. My former English teacher assured me that we would not get a second-person narrative in our unseen prose -- it is an indication that the literary effect is quite special and takes up much discussion by itself.
Let's recapitulate the other points of view first.
First, it's important to point out the existence of the narrator, the voice that tells the story. This sounds trivial and obvious, but sometimes the narrator and the character may get very difficult to distinguish.
In first-person narrative, the reader is inside the main character's head. We see, hear, taste, smell, feel -- through the character's senses. His thoughts and feelings are accessible to us. The narrator and the character can be said as one and the same person. You can see some ramifications of a person inside another: you may not agree with what the character is thinking; given what the character sees, you may understand more what's happening. The example of the latter is Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, in which Huck is a naïve narrator; he is still a child. The mature reader would understand more than Huck does. This disparity in knowledge creates dramatic irony -- in which one of the effects is that we feel for Huck because of his innocent ways of thinking.
On the other hand, if you are inside somebody's head, you can understand him or her better. The author may choose to reveal the logic, the train of thoughts that leads to certain consequences, which are, more likely than not, disastrous ones. But the reader sympathises and laments along with the character because he is the character himself -- the writer's persona and the reader's persona are melded together, if you will. Such is the power of the word 'I': the reader is invited to take a seat, to snug himself in someone else's shoes (sometimes without realising), to enjoy the ride.
In third-person narrative, the main character is referred to as 'he' or 'she'. This creates some distance between the reader and the character. The narrator may be a character himself, which means there are limits to what he can see and hear, which in turn limits the reader's perceptions of the main character. The narrator may also be omniscient, having a bird's-eye view, free to look inside a person's heart or mind. You can see that there are certain advantages and disadvantages over the first-person narrative. Distance may sound problematic but some authors can use this to their advantages. Surely there are some characters who do not need to be sympathised; and you can see that a first-person point of view may disclose too much information to the reader. In certain genres like horror, mystery, detective, third-person point of view may be more suitable to employ, to maintain that aura of tension and secrecy. Of course, by no means this is a rule written on stones. An example of an exception would be having an unreliable first-person narrator. This means that the narrator may divulge wrong information or not tell the whole truth; he is unreliable. Let's say there is murder later in the story; how about if our narrator is actually the murderer, but this is only apparent near the end? Our normal expectations of a protagonist (hero versus antihero) will not be fulfilled. Done correctly, this has quite an impact on the reader.  
Distance may also be useful for other purposes. More distance usually translates to more objectivity on the part of the reader. If the reader is inside the character's head, he is more easily swayed by the character's thoughts and feelings and tend to resonate with the latter; as most authors most likely will design such a character: evoking pity, sympathy, resonance -- now he is already biased and tends to side with the character. Third-person omniscient narration is usually devoid of emotions and thoughts, aside from those of the author's persona. It tends to be more objective. For this reason historical accounts are in third-person.
An epic usually tells of heroic feats performed by the character. It is necessary to put some distance in order to put the character on the pedestal to admire, in order to hide certain aspects that may crumble the heroicity. Some writers actually make use of this aspect: that if the reader is put deep down in the recesses of the heart and the mind of the character, the character's fragile humanity is exposed -- again, this creates intimacy, connection, sympathy, between a human and another. For this reason fairytales are narrated in third-person. Fairytales must remain distant since they are not real; the only connection is the omniscient Being who somehow witnessed the story in another dimension and narrates it to us so that we can learn the truths inside, the moral of the story.
Finally, the second-person narrative. There are at least two styles of a second-person narrative, each to achieve different effects.
The first invokes a lot of common stereotypes so that the reader feels familiar, so that, like in the first-person narration, the reader can relate to the character and is comfortable in the character's skin. This is useful when you are writing something that applies to anyone, or you are implying that it does. If you use first-person, the experiences, thoughts and feelings of the character are localised to the character himself. If you use third-person, it feels too distant, and the connection is lost. Second-person would be best to convey this: the narrator thrusts the mould, which does, or can, fit anyone. A good example would be this description of the afterlife:
 
You walk into the country where the light is slanted and soft. Brown leaves dance on the ground as raindrops fall on them. The northern lights blaze in the sky. You have come so far north that it is always night. You walk on water, feeling the pulse of waves beneath your feet. You walk on bare stones, on ice glowing blue in the starlight. There are others now ahead of you, around you, drawn from other longitudes.
-- Bruce Holland Rogers, I'm Not Saying It Happens Like This,
The Sun Magazine, Feb. 2009, Issue 398

In this case, because no one knows what it feels like in afterlife, this experience can fit anyone. So, again: experiences that are either familiar (fit anyone) or totally unknown (can fit anyone).
The second is the opposite: the character is an atypical person who has a unique way of thinking about and seeing the world. The previous post, of course, belongs to the second. Alphonse is not your average person and his opinions are quite radical. The reader, 'you', is supposed to feel uncomfortable because 'you' doesn't fit into Alphonse's mould. This is unlike the first-person narrative which, in most cases, fits the reader snugly into the character's shoes. But, you also feel for Alphonse's emotional rant, understand that he is a being distinguishable from yourself, having different thoughts and feelings, yet on par with yourself, with the same fragile humanity and whatnot. You can see that the second style here requires delicate balance between the character's idiosyncrasies and familiar stereotypes.
It is important to note that in both second-person narrative styles, it's like you are following a set of instructions from the narrator. It's like a role-playing game. You are to do this and that, which sounds almost like the imperatives. You are constantly reminded that you are 'you', a different entity from the character himself. Contrast this with the first-person narrative where, if the author is good, you may resonate a bit too well with the character and may get a bit carried away and become the character himself (happens to me sometimes). The second-person maintains closeness between the character and you -- since you are to do what the character is doing, see what he is seeing, think what he is thinking, feel what he is feeling -- but at the same time maintains that separateness of entities. One but two, a paradox that adds to literary complexities, as you can imagine it does.
It's also worth noting that second-person narration, which is all about forcing a mould on the reader ending up in identity paradox, is most fitting fir the previous post because Alphonse himself is having an identity crisis, if you notice. Also note that in the last few lines the narrator is slowly taking Alphonse's mould off the reader, addressing the reader directly, "Who are you?" You who have been fitted with Alphonse's mould for the last few paragraphs, who are you?
This is actually the effect I intended to have on the reader: that identity is a curious thing and you better hold it closely while you still can. It invites the reader to rethink about his own identity, just like Alphonse is questioning his own identity.
Now, knowing all this context I have so painstakingly built, re-read the previous post and answer it properly if you haven't:
Who are you?

Chrysalis [ 08. It's Still Raining Inside ]



You are Alphonse. 
You are sitting at the piano stool, fingers still standing rigid on the piano keys, tingling from swift and complicated manoeuvres. The smell of rain is in the air, but the rain itself is letting up.
You have just finished playing a song, which promptly slips out of your mind, already forgotten. You don't know what possessed you -- a while ago you were sitting by the window staring and listening to the rain, the next you plunged into a kind of trance. But you do remember an emotional outburst. The body remembers; and it's as if the melancholy is echoing still, resonating in the air, in the strings, buzzing about your ears like the insect's singing on a summer's day, in the strings of your own heart. A twang of pain deep in the chest.
Like angina pectoris, the heart is lacking oxygen. Your heart is lacking something.
You try to think about other things to distract yourself. Let's see. You find it peculiar that sometimes it feels like there are different entities inside you. The you playing piano just now, who was it? The you talking to your parents not often enough, the you giving up your seat to an old lady this morning, the you thinking those suicidal thoughts, the you crying too often when you flip the newspapers, the you in the eyes of others, the you (you think) in the eyes of others, the you still buried deep in the iceberg under the sea level, the façade of you, the awkward you in front of the person you like, the scheming you, the simple-minded you, the you who loves to crack jokes: these are all you.
You know that there is something called author's persona. This means that the writer projects himself on paper. This projection, however close to the author himself, deliberate or otherwise, is a separate entity from the author. The persona is, in other words, a 'façade'. The opinion on the paper is not the author's opinion, but the persona's. The 'I' on the paper is not the author, but the persona. This is why you get that strange feeling sometimes: the moment you put down "I" then it stops being yourself, it's another person, though it is infused with your person. Like a part of yourself is pulled out like a dough, estranged, alienated, transformed to something else. That is a persona.
On the other hand, a persona is also a 'shadow' because at the same time, the persona takes after the author himself: his opinions, his thoughts, his emotions, his idiosyncrasies. From the pool of all the different you's, you choose. You recall that Yeats once said that "[t]he creations of a great writer are little more than moods and passions of his own heart, given surnames and Christian names, and sent to walk on the earth." You think: how true.
Carrying the monologue further, you ask yourself, so there must be something like reader's persona? But of course. Again, a front -- you may not agree with the author's opinion (or his persona's for that matter), but at least you can understand, you can see it from that perspective, you are willing to make space, some allowance. This is your front as a reader, your persona. 
A market is the meeting of buyers and sellers but a book is the meeting of the author's and the reader's respective personae. In this respect human beings are dastardly beings, unable to take it up properly vis-à-vis, you think? The thing is, humanity is so fragile a thing that you need to build the hardy outer shell, lest it is weathered out and breaks down.
But you digress. So what does it mean? That 'you' comprises many different you's, with possibly more unawakened?
You are tired of thinking all this. You are closing your eyes. As the rain is fading away, your consciousness is also whittled little by little, fading.
A pitch black tunnel.
--
You are Alphonse.
Are you?
No?
Then who are you