L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore
-- L-O-V-E, Milt Gabler
"Love is a loaded word". This particular statement from a show is really unforgettable. Perhaps because it reminds me of something I read before about the Greeks, who have four different words for love. A concept so difficult to grasp, to the extent that some people may never find what it really is in their lifetime; unfathomably deep and wide like an ocean, crammed inside a four-letter word?
'Loaded' is an understatement.
Let us digress a bit and talk about epistemological view of language, especially words. We often overlook the fact that words are actually containers of meaning, not the meanings themselves. That a word is not identical to the thing it signifies may seem obvious, but give it a little more thought. Let's have a quote, then, appropriately from a play with a theme of love:
'Loaded' is an understatement.
Let us digress a bit and talk about epistemological view of language, especially words. We often overlook the fact that words are actually containers of meaning, not the meanings themselves. That a word is not identical to the thing it signifies may seem obvious, but give it a little more thought. Let's have a quote, then, appropriately from a play with a theme of love:
Juliet:
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii)
What's in a name? That which we call a rose(45)
By any other name would smell as sweet.
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name;
And for that name, which is no part of thee,(50)
Take all myself.
The word 'rose' is a label, which the speakers of English agree to call the flower as such. And of course Juliet is in love with the person Romeo, not caring about his family name Montague.
With this in mind, imagine the thing which we label 'love'.
Not easy, isn't it? I, a non-native English speaker myself, often wonder about why the word is so short when the meaning it encompasses is really vast. And why the lack of alternative expressions. Sure we have some: infatuation, concupiscence, amorousness, even artificial term like limerence. Yet those can be considered not of equal magnitude compared to 'love'. Moreover, the low frequency of usage of those in daily conversation alone should be enough evidence of that.
The Greeks themselves are well-known for having four words for love, thanks to C.S. Lewis. These are: eros, storge, philia and agape. Roughly, eros is physical attraction; storge, affection; philia, liking; agape, unconditional love. It should be noted that the word philia occurs in philosophy (love for wisdom), hydrophilic (affinity to water), etc. You can see that philia itself is also an umbrella term for general 'liking'. It goes without saying that 'erotic' comes from eros (C.S. Lewis asserts that eros is not necessarily sexual, though). As for agape, let's take a look at one of the most famous verses in the Bible:
With this in mind, imagine the thing which we label 'love'.
Not easy, isn't it? I, a non-native English speaker myself, often wonder about why the word is so short when the meaning it encompasses is really vast. And why the lack of alternative expressions. Sure we have some: infatuation, concupiscence, amorousness, even artificial term like limerence. Yet those can be considered not of equal magnitude compared to 'love'. Moreover, the low frequency of usage of those in daily conversation alone should be enough evidence of that.
The Greeks themselves are well-known for having four words for love, thanks to C.S. Lewis. These are: eros, storge, philia and agape. Roughly, eros is physical attraction; storge, affection; philia, liking; agape, unconditional love. It should be noted that the word philia occurs in philosophy (love for wisdom), hydrophilic (affinity to water), etc. You can see that philia itself is also an umbrella term for general 'liking'. It goes without saying that 'erotic' comes from eros (C.S. Lewis asserts that eros is not necessarily sexual, though). As for agape, let's take a look at one of the most famous verses in the Bible:
16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
-- John 3:16, KJV
The Greek word that John uses here is agape. So agape is the ultimate form of love, unconditional and sacrificial; the love of God. The greatest love of all, if you may.
The Japanese also have at least three expressions for love: ai (愛), koi (恋) and suki (好き). 'Suki' actually pretty much means 'like', but this is actually the expression used when you intend to date a person. This may seem strange, but this is the culture. In Japanese language, straightforwardness is discouraged. Intentions are revealed in subtle manner. This is also generally true for most Asian cultures. I also read that aishiteru (愛してる) is only said when the couple is at the stage serious enough to marry (perhaps this one is outdated though. It was quite a few years back). From my research, it appears that 'ai' may cover philia and agape -- love in general, while 'koi' is closer to eros or limerence.
I won't bother you with the problem of 'liebe' in German, though, since I don't dabble in German that much (here, and here if you are interested). Most people know 'ich liebe dich' -- wait, do you really?
So there you have it. This crazy little thing called love is certainly not little in any way -- 'love' is loaded, literally. I think it is really underhanded whenever you say 'I love you', since that word covers almost everything anyway, swept clean under the rug.
Pause and think about which love, and don't make the wrong choice.
The Japanese also have at least three expressions for love: ai (愛), koi (恋) and suki (好き). 'Suki' actually pretty much means 'like', but this is actually the expression used when you intend to date a person. This may seem strange, but this is the culture. In Japanese language, straightforwardness is discouraged. Intentions are revealed in subtle manner. This is also generally true for most Asian cultures. I also read that aishiteru (愛してる) is only said when the couple is at the stage serious enough to marry (perhaps this one is outdated though. It was quite a few years back). From my research, it appears that 'ai' may cover philia and agape -- love in general, while 'koi' is closer to eros or limerence.
I won't bother you with the problem of 'liebe' in German, though, since I don't dabble in German that much (here, and here if you are interested). Most people know 'ich liebe dich' -- wait, do you really?
So there you have it. This crazy little thing called love is certainly not little in any way -- 'love' is loaded, literally. I think it is really underhanded whenever you say 'I love you', since that word covers almost everything anyway, swept clean under the rug.
Pause and think about which love, and don't make the wrong choice.
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